Okay so I have finals next week.  As long as I do well on them I should miraculously graduate but it is still very up in the air because I suck really hard.  I need to go an exit interview for my student loans today.  I don't really know what that that entails except that it is supposed to only last ten minutes.  There is a form to fill out and it basically just asks where you work/where your parents work.  The answer to both of those questions is no where.  My mom currently watches my nephews during the day and talks about how we're not going to be able to sell our house/we are going to be homeless soon and I apply to jobs that I don't get... including volunteer jobs.

Speaking of AmeriCorps, I am an alternate for the NCCC program.  I would not feel that bad about it because the internet told me almost all alternates end up getting in, BUT they extended the application deadline to May 15th (they had already extended it from March to April) and one of the people who runs the program put a message up on the facebook group that asks alumni to recruit people because they need the BEST applicants.

So apparently I suck so much that they decided to extend that application process rather than employ me.

Okay I am pretty sure I didn't get into Americorps*NCCC. I called today because a few days after my interview I got this weird call about setting up an interview and I was like "Oh this must have just been a mistake" but anyway I called that guy back and explained that it had been more than three weeks (which is how long it is supposed to take) and so I was wondering if the call wasn't a mistake and if they lost my application (which is what it said in the message, that my application was lost for a while).  Anyway he said my application/interview was fine and that the letter is in the mail.

But he could have just told me if I was accepted. I've asked around and a lot of people hear over the phone.

Which makes me think I wasn't accepted.

So I am preparing myself for disappointment.

Okay so... blah.  I don't know.  I am confused about life right now.  I don't know if I was accepted into americorps yet, but I am calling Friday if I haven't heard by then.

This is also random but I can't decide whether I want to focus on French or Spanish right now, haha.  I have a Spanish and French program on my DS plus that site kekekekekekeke posted on garbage but I get easily confused when I try to do both.  I want to learn French because I may do this teaching thing in France with my study abroad roommate but I'm not even sure if it's going to happen.  I want to learn Spanish because it's more useful plus I suck at French and I am a lot better at Spanish and I have more experience in it.  When I look at words in Spanish I can pronounce them well easily (except I can't roll my Rs) but I suck at French pronunciation.

This is a stupid problem to add to all my actual problems, haha.  I really should be focusing on passing all my classes so I can graduate and looking for things to do when I graduate if I don't get into americorps.

I think I will just take my dog and wander the streets.

I just read that Taylor Kitsch was playing Gambit and I had a little attack.  An attack of goodness.  I'm not sure if he can pull off the accent but I'm willing to overlook it.

xr2 gave me an H!

Comment if you want a letter.

1. Heckling People
2. Hominids (learning about them)
3. Harley Quinn
4. Halloween
5. Hair ties
6. Hugs... sometimes.
7. Horoscopes
8. Happy Accidents (the movie and I guess actual happy accidents)
9. Harold and Maude
10. Hermes Conrad

I am not usually one to get all glum on Valentine's Day but I am definitely feeling a bit blue.  I think it's because I don't even have any candy to eat except sugar free peppermint patties.  And they aren't cutting it.

I am totally setting myself up for disappointment here.

My sister is sitting on the couch opposite me and she was like:

 "What happened if all of a sudden the world was ruled by zombies? I would prefer vampires to zombies?" And I was like "So would I." And she was like "Because vampires could always drink each other's blood to survive."

Also she covered her ears and blew air our of her nose and was like "I did that wrong", because she meant to hold her nose and pop her ears.

I really liked the movie Charlie Bartlett.  As far as teen comedies go, I enjoyed it much more than Juno and I didn't dislike Juno.  Ellen Page is a good actress in her offbeat way but Anton Yelchin is a much better actor.

Except in Charlie Bartlett they really butcher the song If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out.

Okay so this is my plan if I fail that class: Get a full time job and take one class next semester.  It really sucks there is nothing I can do this summer to complete this requirement.

I am so stupid.

If I get into AmeriCorps I'll defer my acceptance until January.

lisa_lovegood tagged me... this is the first time I've ever been tagged for anything, haha.

a. list seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself
b. tag seven people to do the same
c. do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it"

1. I sleep in an odd position.  It's hard to explain kind of but I sit cross legged and then I put a pillow in front of my legs and then I fold my body over my legs and lay on the pillow.  It requires some flexibility.
2. Polls and this or that type quizzes stress me out! Haha, I am indecisive and it makes it hard to choose.
3. I was born in Neptune.  Which is funny to me for some reason.
4. I bit my dog on the nose when we first got him (I was one) and the later two dogs bit me on the nose (when I was 5 and again when I was 17).  My mother says it was revenge.
5. I once told people I had sex with a ghost and was pregnant with his ghost baby.  His name was Chris.
6. I scratch my head a lot... not in public but at home.  I do it so much my head starts to bleed and my glands get swollen.  Luckily it's gotten a lot better though.
   
7. I have huge tonsils.  They completely block off my throat if you look in.

I'M NOT TAGGING ANYONE! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO QUESTION DEALY!

My brother just sent me the following message on facebook:

The following is my Christmas list. Tell mom to keep in mind that I'm not asking for all of this but i put together a list for her and Tess of stuff I wanted for xmas I am sending it to them both so the can check things off sort of like a registry for a wedding. You should remind her also that she really doesn't have to get me anything if she doesn't want to. (I really don't need any of this stuff anyway)

• Wii Zapper 20$
• A new job to replace the three shitty jobs I have. this will cost you the time and monetary investment it takes to build a time machine, with which I will travel back to the seventh grade and change my life pattern in order to become a stock broker. BUY LOW SELL HIGH.
• Micheal Chabon's New Book Gentlemen of the road 15-20$
• Keeping up with the tradition of books with the word road in the title The Road By Cormac Mcarthy 15-20$
• Ben Sherman Messenger Bag from Urban Outfitters 80$ or if you find a cheaper cooler one get that.
• Winter Coat like Robert Duvall's in We Own The NIght Or a Driving Coat
• Sport Jacket
• Xbox 360 Wireless Adapter 80 Ebay
• 1 Year Xbox Live Gold 60
• Medal OF honor heroes 2 for the Wii 40-50
• Clothes
• Comic Book Wallet from Forbidden PLanet 20

Email With questions.

A few points
1. Some of this stuff would be better for tess to get or mom to get.
2. An effective way of saving money is making these items by hand.
3. Again you don't have to buy any of this shit.

And a question does this make me look like a Dick? I was really bored when I wrote this.

I  personally think it's funny that he capitalized the D in dick.  Like he was talking about a person named Dick.  I guess it's good that he sent it to me since I am his secret santa.  I think I'll get him the xbox live gold thing just because he made fun of my other brother for having it.  Hypocrite. I am also amused by his recent admiration of Robert Duvall and his coat, considering my icon and all.

I am really bored.  I have come to realize that I miss ontd_trash... like a lot. Also I wrote the most emo journal entry ever written in my paper journal.  It is pretty hilarious.

But right now I am giddy because all of a sudden I really want to do Americorps*NCCC. My brother's friend just finished in October and I was talking to her about it and now I'm like YES THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO. Up until now I have very indecisive about it because I was worried about leaving my nephews and my dog but now I'm all excited like I have butterflies in my stomach and I reading a lot of Americorps journals.  It's weird, I haven't felt like this in a while. I'm trying to think if I ever felt so sure about something but I honestly don't think I have.  I always think I'm making a mistake and I usually am, haha.  I loved Europe but I was still apprehensive about going and that is not how I feel about this.

It probably means I'll die on the flight to Sacramento (if I get accepted for Fall 2008 that is where my main campus will be).

Anyway now I just need to get accepted. I've heard that almost all sane people will get in, they may be put on an alternate list and they may end up having to go in a different session, but I don't really care when I go.  I just want to go. I am going to try and apply before the end of December because that is still considered kind of early and the earlier the application, the easier it is to get in.  References will be kind of a problem but I think I will just ask student supervisors from my old job.  I am a good employee and all but I was never really friendly with any of my bosses so I feel weird asking them to fill out a questionnaire on my behalf and I have no real volunteer experience, except for random junk in High School and for my friend's church.  So hopefully student supervisors are OK because I have no other ideas, haha.  I may ask one of my old bosses just because he is my usual reference on job applications.

Now I am all enthused about graduating... so I better get that shit done.  I am doing horribly this semester but hopefully I can pull it together for my last semester and my GPA will be high enough for me to graduate. My regular GPA should be fine, but unlike most people I actually do worse in my major so that is where I am worried. 

I'm rambling. I hope this works out, funding isn't cut completely and I get to go to Alaska.

Whenever I hear about people surviving heart attacks I can't help but feel super bitter, jealous and pissed off.  Which is horrible.  But it's true.

It's my birthday. I am approximately one million years old today.

It's going to be a boring one. I am taking my nephews to the mall (they are only eight months old) to trick or treat at 3 PM and then I might make myself a pumpkin cheesecake. Isn't that lame? Yes it is. But pumpkin cheesecake is good so I don't care. Maybe I'll take a picture if it turns out well.

I am listening to Halloween music and babysitting. Right now Mel Torme is singing Monsters Live Such Interesting Lives.

Happy Birthday to xr2 and any other Halloween babies that might see this. And Happy Halloween to everyone else! Don't forget to x-ray your hypodermic needle filled candies.

I re-did my desktop for fall yesterday. I hadn't changed it in a long time.

My bedroom is incredibly filthy. I should really clean it but it's difficult for me to clean without going crazy and reorganizing my whole room and I don't really have time for that right now.

Okay, so I am going to be randomly adding friends because I... feel like spending even more time on livejournal than I usually do.

I'm going to go eat some cookies now.

You know what is good? That earwigs can't jump. Life would suck if earwigs could just jump at you from the wall. There would be no escape.

Hey I decided to start posting random stuff in my journal once in a while.

I want to post in here more often. So I'm just going to start posting random junk.

Things I need to do:
1. Figure out what I'm doing when I graduate.
2. Do better in school.

Yes that was worthwhile.